


Where Do We Go From Here

by Peter_Prker



Category: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, F/M, Hurt, Hurt Peter Parker, I'm so hurt after this movie oh god, Post-Spider-Man: Homecoming, Read at Your Own Risk, Reunion in chapter 2, SERIOUSLY SPOILERS SO READ AT OWN RISK, Spoilers, multi chap, pretty much sadness in chapter one, sadness in chapter 2 also but there's some happy shoved in there too, some comfort i guess but you'll have to wait, someone help all i can write is angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-29
Updated: 2018-05-03
Packaged: 2019-04-29 19:28:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14479584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Peter_Prker/pseuds/Peter_Prker
Summary: SPOILERS FOR INFINITY WAR READ AT YOUR OWN RISKYou look for Peter after the war, you don't find him.





	1. Chapter 1

Everyone is gone. Vanished- just like that. Here and then not. Whole and then pixelated, fading away. New York is empty, save for the fires and the ruins and the scraps of people that remain. Everyone else is dead.

_ Dead dead dead. _

You shudder, wiping the hot tears from your eyes before they splash into the cuts that litter your cheeks. You can hear the sound of alarms, the sound of buildings crumbling- someone’s screaming in the distance and it shatters you to your bones.

_ Dead dead dead. _

The Avengers lost. Earth lost. Thanos has all the stones and he’s wiped out half the population- of the universe or just earth? You don’t know. Your hands grip your hair and you choke back a sob as you pick through the gravel and decay.  _ Where am I going? _

Everyone you know is gone- deleted from existence, some right before your eyes. Ned, Flash, MJ, Aunt May, Pepper, Peter-  _ Oh god, Peter _ .

_ ‘Peter went to space,’ _ Ned had blurted to you right before the fading, ‘ _ He went to fight Thanos _ ,’ 

You had been so angry with Ned for letting him go, letting him leave while you dozed off in the bus, unbeknownst that the brush of his thumb over your cheek and the chaste kiss to your forehead was a goodbye, a goodbye you were too sleepy to acknowledge. 

Now Ned is gone and Peter- you can’t even begin to fathom where Peter could be. 

You flinch as you pass by the body of a man, barely old enough to sprout gray hairs, impaled by a metal shaft. He would’ve survived the fading if not for…

You shake your head, setting a goal in your mind. If you make it to the Avenger’s estate Peter could find you but- no, that’s too far. His apartment then. Yes, Peter would know to look there.  _ Assuming he’s still alive _ . 

_ He is. _ You shut out the negative voice in your mind- the logical one- as you sprint for the side of a shop, pressing your back against the wall because  _ you never know what’s out there. _

You peer around the corner, heart racing and racing and racing- until it seizes in your throat. 

You snap your head back, breath gone ragged as the images you’d just seen flash behind your eyelids. Rows upon rows upon rows of dead bodies. Men, women, children- impaled or shot or burned or simply  _ dead dead dead _ and standing above it all, a warrior clothed in a black so deep it could pass as the night sky. 

You grip your chest, trying to steady your breathing because whatever this thing is- whatever this thing  _ does _ … you’d rather not find out.

You take a deep breath, steeling yourself before you sprint in the opposite direction of the creature, hurdling over objects and trying not to make a sound- praying you don’t. 

But then you hear it- the footsteps are barely audible amidst the sound of your own heartbeat thundering in your ears, but it’s there. You dart behind an overturned car, opting for cover rather than being vulnerable in the open and then you wait. 

You wait and wait and wait and wait as the footsteps grow louder. You wait until the footsteps stop. 

Your breath hitches and you squeeze your eyes shut.  _ This is where I’m going to die _ .

And then you hear a voice- familiar but only just. ‘Hello? Is someone there?’ 

Your eyes snap open and ever so slowly you peer around the hood of the car. Tony Stark is standing not five feet away, scratched and bruised and bleeding and alive. You push yourself up onto your feet and his eyes focus on you immediately, something like recognition flashing in them. 

‘Mr. Stark,’ You breathe. ‘Oh my god.’ 

His eyebrows furrow as he takes you in, looking you up and down, studying your wounds. ‘I know you,’ He says and you freeze.

How could Tony Stark possibly know you? 

_ Mr. Stark’s internship,  _ Peter’s lopsided grin flashes in your mind. Tony’s face falls as he seemingly comes to the same conclusion. 

‘Spiderling,’ he mumbles, pinching the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes.

‘Mr Stark,’ You walk towards him- slowly, anxiously. ‘Where’s Peter?’ 

And he looks at you, he looks at you with such anguish and guilt and sorrow and-  _ no _ . A hot metal rod is poking your heart.  _ No no no. _

‘I’m sorry, kid.’  _ No. _

The sound of gravel crunching under boots is loud and harsh as Tony steps in front of you, hands braced on your shoulders. You almost throw him off- but Peter idolized this man, and looking at the pain in his eyes you know he’s hurting every bit as much as you are.

So you let him pull you into a hug, this man you’ve never met, this man who’s only connection to you was through a stupid, brave, beautiful boy. A boy who’s gone. Tears flow freely down your cheeks as you press your face into Tony’s jacket, arms braced on his back. His own tighten around your shoulders and you can feel the drip drip drip of his own tears as they soak your hair. 

You hold this man you’ve never met, and you let him hold you as you mourn the loss of your best friend. A hero.

And you mourn and you mourn and you mourn. 


	2. Chapter 2

‘So, we have to go after Thanos,’ You feel every pair of eyes in the room snap up to you and you gulp, rubbing your hands on your jeans. 

After the fading, Tony had taken you to the Avengers Base where the rest of the surviving heroes greeted you solemnly. Besides him, there are only seven other heroes that survived- two of which are Wakandan warriors you’ve never heard of- a robotic daughter of Thanos (who you were weary to trust at first) and a talking raccoon. 

‘Is this it?’ Tony had asked. And you couldn’t help the sinking feeling in your stomach.

Now, three days later, they’ve made their introductions to you and have filled you in on everything they know about the Infinity Stones- or rather what they’re willing to share. 

‘She’s just a kid, Tony,’

‘Parker trusted her, so do I,’ 

‘Y/N, we don’t know if we can,’ Rhodey’s voice is soft and a sudden anger rises in you. 

‘What do you mean,’ You shake your head and laugh harshly. ‘We have no other choice.’

‘Thanos is too powerful,’ Nebula drawls, inspecting the wiring in her hands. ‘Now that he has all of the stones, there’s no point.’

You glance at the faces of the people surrounding you. They’re all staring at the ground now, avoiding eye contact. ‘You can’t be serious,’ Nebula shrugs and your anger burns and burns and burns. ‘So we’re supposed to just let the people we love die?’

You look at Tony, trying to force his gaze to meet yours but he looks away, ashamed, and all you feel is disappointment and anger anger anger-

‘As of right now, it’s too risky,’ Steve’s voice is purely calculating, emotionless and you balk. They’re willing to throw away the lives of their loved ones for what?

‘What else do we have to lose?’ You throw your hands out for emphasis. ‘Steve you lost Bucky, Tony lost Pepper, Okoye and M’Baku you lost your king-’ Heads down eyes averted. ‘And you’re telling me it’s too risky?’

‘Y/N,’ Nat starts but you shake your head. 

‘No,’ You snap. ‘No. I used to idolize you, Peter idolized you, everyone out there dead or alive trusted you and you’re going to give up just like that?’ You scoff. ‘Earth’s mightiest heroes, huh? You’re all just cowards.’  
You know somewhere that your anger is misplaced, but you can’t help yourself as you stomp out of the lab, a deafening silence following in your wake. If they aren’t going to, then you’ll just have to go after Thanos yourself. There’s nothing else you have to lose. 

~o0o~

Tony finds you an hour later in your room, going over every news article and report since Thanos appeared. The number of broadcasts has dwindled down drastically since the fading to barely one a week, where there used to be numerous in a single day. You all realized early on that the apocalyptic event hadn’t affected the internet or any other devices in the slightest- there was just no one left to use them.

He knocks on the door softly- once, twice- and you respond with only a passive-aggressive hum, barely loud enough to hear before Tony slips in, head still bowed. 

You can barely believe this is the same ‘Playboy, philanthropist’ that you used to see on the news every day. He was all cocky and unconcerned and practically radiated confidence back then. You remember the day he admitted he was Iron Man, you and Peter had been sitting in front of the TV, both of you only eight years old when he’d revealed it. 

‘What do you want?’ You say now, scrolling past another death count- the only kind of news that seems to be floating around anymore. At Tony’s silence, you look up and he catches your eye.

Unshed tears glisten in them, the Tony Stark you grew up knowing on TV is nowhere to be found. Where once you might’ve seen determination and cockiness, only sadness and regret remains. 

‘I’m sorry, Y/N,’

‘You never say anything else,’ Your words are rushed, mumbled because you know- you know- he’s hurting just as much as you are, the only difference is you’re not willing to give up yet. 

‘I know you think there’s a chance of saving them,’ He starts and your head already begins to shake in denial. No, you don’t want to hear this. He sits down at the edge of your bed, not making any move to comfort you further- you can’t help but feel thankful for it. ‘I fought him, Y/N,’ he says. ‘We all did, and we lost. That was before he had the stones, before-’ 

His hands tangled in the blue-ish sheets, gripping them. 

‘We can’t beat him,’

‘Of course, we can’t,’ He looks up at you suddenly, eyes having drifted down again, confusion laces his gaze. ‘We can’t win if we don’t even try.’  
‘Kid…’

‘You said you would fix this, Tony,’ You shut your laptop, leaning toward him. You try not to think about the list of odds that are against you. ‘So help me fix this.’

~o0o~

It’s three months later that you finally defeat Thanos. 

The battle is grueling and long and you’re actually surprised- if not pleasantly so- when Thor’s newly minted axe connects with the Titan’s neck and severs his head with a final thwack. And then it’s over. Just like that.

The fight itself had taken a few hours at most but the planning the planning the planning- it had two months just to polish, the third reserved for execution- luring the monster to earth and getting the job done. 

We won, we won, we won.

A breathless laugh escapes your lips as you watch the screens. You’re in the lab, have been since the heroes left hours before- monitoring their vitals and telling them where to go, what to do. God, how you’d wanted to reach through the screen and strangle Thanos yourself, but you were helping and that was enough. 

Bruce lets out an unabashed whoop as he transforms back from the Hulk- having finally solved his problems with the creature only three days before- and no one opposes him as he throws on some extra clothes, Thor and M’Baku even join in.

We won, we won, we won.

‘Couldn’t have done it without you, kid,’ Tony’s voice is soft, still reigned in but you can hear his confidence starting to regain- he’s going to be okay. You smile lightly as you double-check everyone’s health, but you know it’s true. 

After your talk with Tony, he’d agreed to help you and together you’d convinced the remaining Avengers too. The task was more difficult then you’d anticipated, Rocket and Nebula having filled their heads with thoughts of self-preservation, but Thor was convinced easily, and after him, they all fell in line. 

‘I can’t believe we won,’ Rhodey says, completely breathless and you let out a laugh, watching as he and Steve began to slip the Infinity Gauntlet off of the Titan’s hand. 

‘Now what?’ Nat questions, strolling- rather limping- towards the pair. Steve steadies her with a hand on her shoulder.

‘We can’t destroy the stones without the Scarlet Witch,’ You think aloud, eyes glancing at the screen. Bruce kneels to the ground, tying a shoe and you watch as Steve retracts his vibranium shield. 

‘Wanda was the only one strong enough,’ He agrees. 

‘So we have to- somehow- use the Time Stone and get her back,’ Get them all back. You grab a stray pen that’s laying on the desk and twirl it between your fingers. 

‘It’s not that simple, Y/N,’ Bruce stretches to his full height again, scratching his head. ‘The stones are too powerful, they’d kill any of us in an instant.’

‘The glove,’ You sit up, but Steve shakes his head. 

‘None of us are Titan-strong,’

You pinch the bridge of your nose. Only the Hulk is strong enough, but you’re afraid he’ll go mad- you aren’t so sure Bruce will be able to coax him out again either. ‘We can’t just let half of the population die,’ 

‘They’re already dead,’ Nebula mumbles, you slam the pen down on the desk hard. 

‘Temporarily,’ You snap. 

‘Calm down,’ Nat angles her eyes towards a security camera, where she knows you’re watching. ‘We’ll figure it out.’

‘Tony’s oddly quiet,’ You hear Rocket say and you realize he’s right. ‘What about you Iron Man, any bright ideas?’ 

‘Just one,’ He says. That’s when all your camera’s shut off. You’re up in an instant, tapping your earpiece but no, comms are down too. Something hot and metallic squeezes in your gut and you recognize it as fear. Thanos couldn’t be- no. He’s dead, Thor’s axe made a clean swipe. 

You push away from the desk, thoughts going a hundred miles an hour. Why would all the cameras stop working- and the comms? Has the fading affected technology after all? Impossible, the lights are still on- You slide your phone from your back pocket and the screen lights up easily. 

You’d thought about getting rid of it, there was no point in keeping it now- but you couldn’t, not if there was a chance Peter could come back. 

His face smiles up at you now, his photo clear on your lock screen. It’s an image of the two of you, happy and carefree. You haven’t turned on your phone in weeks, your heart seizing every time you see it, now it fills you with a sense of hope- and one of dread. 

The only way the media in the lab can cut out is if Tony makes it so. What on earth is he planning?

And then you realize- with a pang and a sense of deflating- that the Hulk isn’t the only one that can match Thanos’ strength. His suit.

Your feet are moving before your brain’s caught up and suddenly you’re out of the door and on the street, jumping over rubble and debris as you race to where you know they’re waiting. They won’t let him do it. You know they won’t. We don’t trade lives, that’s what Steve always says. We don’t trade lives.

Your feet fly over the wrecked streets of New York, you dodge in alleyways and between shops, but your breath quickly begins to fail you. Your arms pump at your sides as you inhale sharply through your nose and roughly out of your mouth. Just a few more blocks. 

A bright green light flashes over buildings, accompanied by an almost tangible blast of wind. You’re thrown against a broken down car, head banging against the bumper. 

A panging begins to sound in your head as something warm and wet begins to drip down your temple. Blood, you realize. But you barely have time to register the pain in your head or your back as you jump to your feet again and you’re running and running and running.

That’s when it happens. 

People around you- they begin to appear. Streets are empty one minute and filled the next and suddenly rubble isn’t the only obstacle in your way. You push and shove and break free from the appearing crowds and there. 

Tony’s lying on his back- suit broken off and rusted- surrounded by Steve and Nat and- Bucky? Wanda’s at his other side, tears in her eyes and suddenly Tony’s sitting up, a smirk on his face.

‘I saved the world again, you guys.’ He’s saying. Alive. Impression after impression fills your brain and you balk at it all, wiping blood from your brow. 

And then your heart stops. 

Peter’s hair is the same as before- slightly tousled and falling over his forehead- it’s brown and clean and remarkably well kept for someone who was dead dead dead. He’s wearing his suit- a new one- with a bigger emblem and brighter colors and he’s smiling and he’s alive. 

Your hand clutches your chest and you take a step back. Glass cracks under your foot and then suddenly he’s looking at you. His smile grows impossibly wider and your head begins to shake back and forth.

Is this real?

You’re staring at him and he’s staring at you and you’re afraid you’ll be stuck in that moment forever until Thor says, ‘Are they just going to stand there or are they going to embrace?’ And then you’re running and he’s running and he’s getting closer but he’s still too far away until finally finally finally.

You crash into each other with a force that could shake every planet in the galaxy as limbs band under limbs and faces press into shoulders and necks. Tears well up in your eyes and you tell yourself not to cry, but then Peter lets out a noise that’s a cross between a laugh and a sob and the dam breaks. The front of Peter’s suit is soaked in seconds, you can feel his own tears flooding your shirt in return.

You vaguely hear cheering from the heroes and what you assume is a choice hand of snide comments but all you can think is Peter Peter Peter. His name plays like a mantra in your head. He smells like oranges and the ocean and sweat and him. 

He pulls away slightly, eyes scanning your face. His brows are furrowed as his thumb brushes the cut at your hairline and you let out a choked laugh. ‘You just came back from the dead and you’re worried about a little scratch?’ 

His hand drops to grip the back of your neck. ‘I love you,’ He says, his eyes are so full of emotion and intensity and you’re only sixteen, but you know this is it. He’s it. You smile and then your lips meet and it’s sloppy and wet with tears and inexperienced but it’s real.

More whoops sound from the group behind you, all you can think is Peter tastes exactly how he smells. 

Alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! Thanks for reading, leave a kudos and a comment if you'd like, <3

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Leave a kudos and a comment (pls) and check out my tumblr [@peter-prkers](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/peter-prkers) where I basically post the same stuff but with gifs and some memes in between and I will take requests.
> 
> The second chapter will be up as soon as possible!


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